Going through a divorce is enough to take the wind out of even the most ebullient individuals. It's certainly an adjustment, and even if you initiated the divorce, you may still be feeling pangs of regret.
But don't let yourself drown in your tears — or your beers. There are plenty of healthy and productive ways to help you get your groove back once your divorce is finalized.
- Process your feelings. Endings can be difficult in all matters, but when it comes to relationships, it's usually even harder. Journaling might help you acknowledge and process feelings of loss and regret. That leads to release and embracing the future unencumbered by sadness.
- Build a support network. You may already have one — that core group of family and friends who are always in your cheering section. But those emerging from codependent marriages may have few folks to turn to for much-needed support. Expand your horizons by meeting new friends with similar interests and use social networks to reconnect with old buddies who can help you during this transitional time.
- Spend time alone. This can be anathema to those suffering from separation anxiety when the kids are with your ex. But in actuality, learning to become comfortable in your own skin without input from others is a confidence-builder. Have lunch at that new bistro, sign up for kick-boxing or tai chi . . . whatever whets your interest.
- Develop a new passion. No, this doesn't mean lassoing the first gal or guy who floats into your orbit. What did you put on the back burner during your marriage? Maybe you never finished your degree. Take some night courses in your field of study and engage in the educational process. Love dogs or cats? Volunteer with an animal rescue group. Let your heart be your compass and follow it.
If you really are stuck in a rut, ask your Maricopa County family law attorney for some referrals to a licensed counselor. A few sessions may be all that you need to rejoin the world with a smile and a new spring in your step.
Source: The Huffington Post, "4 Ways to Get Your Groove Back After a Divorce," Sue Cornbluth, Ph.D., accessed Dec. 11, 2017